Patience is a virtue

My housemate played us the clip which had been posted online. It shows the retired soldier breaking through a police cordon, dropping his plastic bag on the ground and clambering onto the bridge in southern China. He shunts up the metal sides and reaches over and shakes the suicidal man's hand. Moments later he pushes him off the bridge. Admittedly the clip was fairly comical - perhaps it was the disbelief that someone would actually do that. Apparently Mr Lai was annoyed by the suicidal man's selfish atttempts to kill himself which had caused a traffic jam. After the push the suicidal man fell 26ft onto a partially inflated air cushion. The suicidal man, who is recovering in hospital, told police he wanted to kill himself because he was heavily in debt following a failed construction project. Mr Lai didn't care. He was being held up. His impatience got the better of him and he finally cracked after being held up several times before by 'selfish jumpers'. I was chatting to the eccentric literary enthusiast, who shares my love of strange artwork, about the Chinese pusher. You see every time there's so much as a near fatal incident it's our job to get to it. We're the ones cursing the traffic, slipping under the police cordon, approaching the emergency services and the family. There's a buzz which comes from a breaking news story, regardless of whether it's fatal, a near miss or a miracle escape. But next time you're caught in traffic on the motorway spare a thought for the suicidal man.

J.A Rush

Some men go to extraordinary lengths to be with a woman. But some men, including J.A Rush, take it a step too far. The American was so smitten with a woman he met last week in a bar in Naperville, Illinois that he called in a phony 911 report of gunfire in the city's far north west side. According to the three page police report, 33 year old Rush, hoped the gunshot distraction would leave the way open for him to swoop in and apprehend the inebriated woman he had been chatting up earlier on (she was so drunk, she was in the care of officers). Police trying to trace the emergency caller soon found out who the culprit was and confronted him. Rush denied making the phone calls, but his mobile told a different story and rang out in his pocket whilst police questioned him. Now he faces trial on a charge of placing a false emergency call. Surely asking her would have been a far simpler way of getting a date? All you have to do is Google it. In fact if Rush had searched for dating tips, he may have realised that although aversion tactics sometimes work, third parties (especially law enforcement) should not be tricked into leaving a half-cut woman alone whilst they rush off to the O.K. Corral. Intrigued by shared dating tips and for the benefit of J.A Rush, I thought it prudent to see what one should do when in a situation which calls for a bit of dating know how (and translate what they really mean):
1. Why are you asking them out, is it for the right reasons and what do you expect as a result of them saying yes or no? At this early stage, one would assume it's because you think they are hot. Surely the humiliation of being turned down is something you deal afterwards?
2. Be prepared that the person you ask may say no and in which case do not take the rejection personally. Sound advice, but a total lie. They obviously don't fancy you. Deal with it.
3. When asking someone out choose your moment carefully and practise what you might say in advance so that you don't appear tongue-tied. What are you meant to do – get your note book out?
4. Make sure that when you ask someone on a date you smile and keep things fun and happy. Being confident and smiley will elicit a far more positive response. Ah, a bit of multi-tasking. Whilst reading from your note book smile idiotically and appear fun.
5. Try to avoid dutch-courage such as using alcohol to boost your courage levels as this will often backfire. Getting your note book out, whilst smiling idiotically, appearing fun-loving and trying to maintain an air of sophistication after downing several shots of Sambuca is likely to fail.
Lastly. Don't ask someone out when they are in a group of friends. Timing is everything. Okay, so avoid drunkenly walking up to a man or a woman in a bar whilst they are enjoying the company of their friends, don't interrupt their conversation or get your note book out whilst smiling idiotically, appearing fun-loving and downing drinks.